I want T.I. to come speak to my class.
As a condition of a guilty plea that the rapper entered today, he will be required to perform at least 1000 hours of community service before his sentencing hearing in a year. The plea is in response to federal charges stemming from a brush with the law prior to the BET Music Awards, when he sent his body guard to buy machine guns. The community service is to be spent speaking to youth about drugs, gangs, and guns. All things about which T.I. is “highly qualified” to speak, according to No Child Left Behind.
If I were T.I., I would leap at the good that can come from speaking to my students:
1. T.I. can expand his fan-base
The majority of my students listen to reggaeton. T.I. is not a reggaeton artist. As such, he will be connecting to a new demographic. This support will most likely translate into a massive grassroots movement led by hispanohablantes, that will culminate in the drastic reduction of his jail time, so that he can spend more time making hits and Chevy Impala commercials. This of course, can only happen if there is a Fat Joe/Daddy Yankee/T.I. collaboration. I can see it at the top of the charts already…
2. I can write a letter to the judge on his behalf
I would endorse T.I. like a mofo. I could talk about his community activism, the transcendental nature of his music, and the metamorphosis that he has undergone as a musician and a human being. He is a warrior-poet, in the trill-est sense.
3. T.I. does know a lot about guns, drugs, and gangs
Honestly, he does. And at times, I feel that my kids do as well. One student was writing “AK-74″ (sic, I think it’s his tag), “Glock“, and “Tec-9″ on the dry-erase board in another teacher’s room while she wasn’t looking. Others were not interested in my demo lesson until we began talking about cannabanoids and opioids that are found in chocolate.
4. T.I. always looks fairly cool
I like his style. And I feel that he could probably get more sales for his clothing line by sponsoring something, like new T.I.- LCD projectors, T.I.P.- smart-boards, and “A King of Oneself”- MacBook Airs in every room. That would quite philanthropic of him, and it would be much appreciated. Then we could open the Clifford Harris Computer Lab.
The bottom line is that T.I. needs some good publicity as soon as possible, and my classroom is prepared to give it to him, as soon as he can make it to DC…But we can only really support felons if they bring their checkbooks. Forging mutually-beneficial educational partnerships is exactly what this country needs to end the crisis. That being said, “BRING ‘EM OUT, BRING ‘EM OUT!!!!”
