The Pimp Slap of Knowledge

June 6, 2008

Isn’t there someone who gets paid to do that?

On Wednesday, a meeting scheduled to last an hour somehow extended itself at least an extra 93 minutes. I know, because I counted every tick of my Flava Flav clock that I wear to staff meetings to keep time. The meeting involved all of the teachers on staff, but it wasn’t a status-of-the-school staff meeting, but rather, a school-vision-and-mission-and-student-body-composition-and-state-mandated-restructuring staff meeting. Needless to say, as a third-month teacher, I don’t have much to add to these conversations, beyond the pragmatic, “Wrap it up, B”:

Obviously the problems of meetings beyond the scope and experience level of the staff are not endemic to the education industry, but I feel that other entities probably have more capital to invest in an outside organization to do the [grunt/boring/tedious/hard] work. I feel that the more efficient way of achieving this “new vision/design” would have been through educational consultants who can come up with a handful of plans based on interviews with senior members of the staff who have the best idea of where the school came from and where it should go. While I understand the importance of the egalitarian method that this school is attepmting to use, all it achieves is a cyclic arguments that devolve into scheduling discussions. This ad hoc methodology that is currently in effect is going to get us to one place: where we are, having the Charter School Board tell us that the school, once again, isn’t making the grade.

June 3, 2008

Classroom Management with John Rambo

The most difficult task that I encounter daily is maintaining composure, optimism and patience in the face of adversity.  As students swear, disrespect and prank each other, it requires quite a bit of internal fortitude to

  1. react as an adult; meaning I cannot laugh, even if it’s really funny.
  2. react fairly in every situation; whether it’s the sweetest/smartest kid or the disrespectful slacker as the offending party.
  3. stay in character; a teacher is on stage for a sold out theater every day.
  4. not open up a can of whup-ass on the worst kids.

I rented Rambo (2008) two nights ago, and I noticed many uncanny similarities between the Burmese civil Rambo\'s classroom management techniquewar/conflict that is portrayed without moderation or censor, and my fifth and sixth period classes.  I often feel that my students each possess a sadistic taste for masochism.  It is most evident when each of them, in turn, requests to go to the bathroom.  I confirmed with other instructors that this is the case in their classes as well.  I suspect that they have developed an elaborate communication network whose hub is located in the bathroom.  This allows the students in each different room (the SPDC) to remain in constant communication to maintain their oppression of the teachers (the rebels).  Furthermore, I noticed in John Rambo things that I aspire to possess in my classroom life, like the ability to rip someone’s throat out with my hands, cheetah-like reflexes, and an iron will.   Also, in each installment of his franchise, he encounters situations that require composure, optimism and patience in the face of adversity.  But most of all, it is his desire to do right, stand up for justice, and help those weaker than himself that sets him apart from other action film protagonists.  Well those qualities, and his unique ability to relentlessly kill the shit out of people.

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